The Amazing Carnival of Complaining/Transcript
This is an episode transcript for The Amazing Carnival of Complaining. Transcript Jason: Oh, a swift move by Lefty, but Mr. Right manages to pull back just in the nick of time. Left then comes back around and strikes again. Nope, Mr. Right is just too fast. It's like, it's like, he knows exactly what Lefty is thinking. I've never seen anything like it, folks. These two opponents are so evenly matched this could go on for hours, or days, or weeks, or months. Jason: (sniffs) Lemony. Jason: Rarrr, it's the attack of the Forty Foot Chicken! (clucks) The penguins must leap into action quickly, lest they suffer the pecking. (clucks) Jason: Come on, guys, help me out. There's gotta be a planet in trouble somewhere. Jason: Just get me out of here. Jason: Space Camp, blast off to an exciting summer. (crunches into a seed) Great, seeds. Grandmum: Did somebody say seeds? Now you've got the idea. Why don't you join Michelle and me out in the garden, Jason? It's a perfect day to plant pumpkin seeds. Michelle: Grandmum says if we plant them now, we'll have great big pumpkins at the end of the summer. Grandmum: Your sister's quite right, and we'll have loads of pumpkins for all kinds of treats, pumpkin kraut, pumpkin slaw, pumpkin pudding, pickled pumpkin poppers. Michelle: And we'll pop the pumpkins later, right, Grandmum? Grandmum: That's right, Michelle! Michelle: What's the matter, Jason? Are you bored? Jason: (growls) Michelle: Too bad the video game's, busted, huh? Jason: As a matter of fact, it is too bad, because I'm bored out of my brain. There's absolutely nothing to do up here. Why can't I be having fun at Space Camp like Trevor instead of eating weird grapes and thumbwrestling myself because the only other possible thing to do is plant pumpkins or stare at the wall? Oh, that gives me an idea, I think I'll stare at the wall. Michelle: Touche. Grandmum: Heavens above! That's no way to look at things, is it? You do know what it says about complaining in the Bible, don't you? "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure. Children of God without fault in this crooked world in which you shine like stars in the universe." You know, Jason, if you can't control your complaining, it'll spread to everyone around you, and you'll be a seed of discontent. Grandmum: So, which will it be, a grumpy seed, or a shining star? We will be outside if you change your mind. Come along, Michelle. Jason: Why would anyone want grapes with seeds? Zidgel: Jason T. Conrad, we need your help! Jason: Yes! Fidgel: Oh wait, no we don't. It appears they simply have their batteries in backwards. They're able to shave again. Mission canceled. Midgel: Imagine that, an alien race so fuzzy if they don't shave their noses once a day, they risk suffocation. Zidgel: Yup, hair today, gone tomorrow! (laughs) Jason: Figures. Midgel: Jason, what's wrong? Jason: I was hoping to get out of here. Kevin: That's a very good idea. Record: Turn the page, partner! Yee-haw! Jason: It is? Fidgel: Splendid. It does seem we have the day off. Zidgel: Hey, hey, you know, it's, uh, carnival season. Jason: Yes! Midgel: How about the stockpod races? Fidgel: Why don't we all go to the zoo? Kevin: We should visit the botanical gardens. Jason: Gardens, great! Zidgel: Boy, I sure love carnivals! Fidgel: Well, there's the derby. Midgel: Monster trucks, yeah! Jason: Thunderfoot, grr! Kevin: What's a derby? Zidgel: They've got that ride that goes (yells in excitement) And look, everybody, no hands! Fidgel: The symphony! Midgel: Comic-Con! Kevin: Madison Square Gardens. Zidgel: (yells in excitement) Jason: Yeah, yeah. Fidgel: The magic shop! Midgel: The hardware store! Zidgel: Yeah! Kevin: (yells) The penguins: The carnival! Kevin: Do I get a balloon then? Zidgel: Fidgel, get Jason in here! Midgel, get us out of here! Kevin! Turn the page. Midgel and Jason: Bonsaiii!! Zidgel: Forty foot chicken! Midgel: Good afternoon, passengers. This is your pilot speaking. Welcome aboard Fun Flight 3-2-1, where your leisure is our pleasure. Midgel: Your flight attendent will be serving refreshments shortly, so sit back and enjoy today's onboard entertainment. Fidgel: Theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee seats on the ship go round and round round and round (2x) The seats on the ship go round and round, up off the ground. Fidgel: Everybody sing! Zidgel, Midgel, Fidgel, and Jason: The thrusters on the ship go vroom, vroom, vroom. Vroom, vroom, vroom. Vroom, vroom, vroom. Zidgel, Midgel, Fidgel, and Jason: The thrusters on the ship go vroom, vroom, vroom. Up off the ground. Fidgel (spoken): Feel the beat, Kevin! Zidgel, Midgel, Fidgel, and Jason: The atmosphere in the gauge goes up and down, up and down, up and down. The atmosphere in the gauge goes up and down, up off the ground. Fidgel: Oh, I'm so enjoying myself! Midgel: What do you say, Jason, can I pick a day out or what? Jason: No complaints here, Midgel. I finally get to have some real fun. Kevin: Care for a spot of pumpkin pie and some tasty grapes? Jason: Uh, do they have seeds? Kevin: Don't think so. Who wants grapes with seeds? Jason: Ah, this just keeps getting better. Zidgel: Excuse me, Kevin, when you get a chance, I'd love a fresca. Midgel: Coming up on Planer Arrinar and the Carnival Moon! Midgel: Well, Jason, I've been using my head, and I think I finally got this whole landing gear thing worked out. Zidgel: We still need to buckle ourselves in, boys. Federation rules! Jason: Better. Zidgel: Alright, crew! Remember where we parked! Section P-3! Let's go catch that shuttle. Uncle Blobb: (sings) Oh, Uncle Blobb's amazing carnival. What do you see now? If you'd like to play at the carnival, I will show you how. Pumpkin headed kids: Uncle Blobb's amazing carnival. We want to have fun. But our time to play at the carnival hasn't yet begun. Uncle Blobb: Over here! Greetings! Greetings, space travelers! To what do I owe this most pleasant surprise? Zidgel: Greetings, my good, uh, sir! We've come for a day at the carnival! Kevin: We've got a day off. Fidgel: Sensors indicate fun! Uncle Blobb: Sensors indic (laughs). Well, please be sure it would be my upmost pleasure and I would receive with the highest degree evadulation. The accomponent of your fine bevy. Zidgel: So, you, uh, mind if we join you? Uncle Blobb: Not at all. Not. At. All. Right this way! Uncle Blobb: (grumbling) Confound it. Only two. Uncle Blobb: My good penguins, you're most welcome at my traveling carnival, rivalries exposition that it is. All the amusements in store for you today will certainly entertain even the most dispassionate among you. It is with great regret that I have but a duo of Blobb Toppers currently at hand. I'm afraid that the majority of the, uh, cole de joie currently adorn the heads of the children already present. Pumpkin headed kids: Hiya, fellas! Uncle Blobb: Please accept my apologies, but as you see, I am left with but a brace. Zidgel: Great, great! So, you got some for everybody? Uncle Blobb: There's only two. Fidgel: I believe that is what he just said. Jason: Hey, that's pretty sharp, Midgel. Midgel: Beg your pardon? Jason: That's a great souvenir! Midgel: Uh, about a quarter after. Uncle Blobb: (sings) Oh, Uncle Blobb's amazing carnival. What do you see now? If you'd like to play at the carnival, I will show you how. Jason, penguins, and pumpkin headed kids: Uncle Blobb's amazing carnival. Look, the Whurl-A-Tron! The first fun ride we'll take at the carnival, let's all go get on. Uncle Blobb: Oh, by the way, I have to say. There's something you should know. It's old and cheap, it'll put you to sleep, so you might as well not go. Pumpkin headed kid #1: Oh, rats. Pumpkin headed kid #2: Ah, gee. Midgel: That's disappointing. Zidgel: Did you say something? Zidgel: Hey, guys! Didn't you hear? It's a lousy ride! Jason: Yee-haw! Kevin: Whoooo! Zidgel: Well, they're certainly not going to have fun on a ride like that! Uncle Blobb: (sings) Uncle Blobb's amazing carnival. What do you see know? Wanting to complain at the carnival, I will show you how. Zidgel, Midgel, and pumpkin headed kids: Uncle Blobb's amazing carnival. Look, the Bounce and Spin! Hopefully, this will be a great ride at the carnival. Let's all go climb in! Uncle Blobb: It's not untrue. If I were you, I'd leave this ride alone. You're much too big, it's for little kids, and it's boring when you're grown. Midgel: Boring! Pumpkin headed kid #2: We're too big for this ride. Pumpkin headed kid #3: Yeah, what's the story here, Uncle Blobb? I though we were gonna have a swell time at this carnival. Uncle Blobb: Complain away, you little drones! There's better rides and nursing homes. Kevin: Whoooo! Midgel: I've seen a one-legged Zincadean turtle crawling through a puddle of giant wizzlebee honey move faster than that. Uncle Blobb: You got that right, you little whiner. There's a better one near Ursa Minor. Kevin: Uuugh! Zidgel: You call that a fun ride?! If I wanna get dizzy, all I have to do is a little long division while Midgel is driving. Uncle: Ooh, that last remark was most unkind, but just feel free to speak your mind. Jason: Woo-hoo! Fidgel: Wheee! Kevin: (yells) Uncle Blobb: Though all these rides are fun, you haven't ridden one. You'll find it's hard to have much fun here once complaining has begun. Pumpkin headed kid #4: Boy, oh boy. I can't believe we came here! This place is full of hooey! Pumpkin headed kid #5: And how! Zidgel: Let's go to the carnival, he says! That's about the worst idea you've had since landing gear! Jason: I wonder what's going on. Kevin: They're certainly not very happy. Fidgel: Most curious! How on earth could they not be having fun? Jason: Yeah, this place is great! Midgel: This place stinks! Zidgel: I can't believe you'd drag us to this boring carnival! Midgel: Huh? Zidgel: What? Midgel: You talking to me? Uncle Blobb: Uncle Blobb's complaining carnival! What do you see now? It's easy to complain at the carnival, I just showed you how. Pumpkin headed kid #6: What's the deal, Uncle Blobb, you said this was going to be fun! When's the fun gonna start? Zidgel: What's the deal, Uncle Blobb, you said this was going to be fun! When's the fun gonna start? Uncle Blobb: Do my ears deceive me, or do I have some dissatisfied customers on my hands? Uncle Blobb: Not to worry, not to worry. I've saved the best for last. I'm sure you'll all find this final attraction quite amusing. Uncle Blobb: Space is tight, so I'm afraid you'll have to go in one at a time. Who'll be first? Jason: This is weird. We should find out what's going on. Fidgel: Quite. Uncle Blobb: That's it, step right up. Right this way. Pumpkin headed kid #2: No way! Uncle Blobb: Next. Uncle Blobb: Very good, very good. Right this way. Watch your step. Jason: Bizzmoff, the amazing juggler? Fidgel: Jason, what's happening? Jason: I'm not sure, Fidgel, hold on. Bizzmoff: Hiya, kid! Did you have fun at the carnival today? Pumpkin headed kid #7: No! Pumpkin headed kid #7: Applesauce. Jason: Oh, no! Jason: Guys, we've got big trouble. Follow me. Fidgel: Woah! Jason: How did he get up there? Fidgel: For a big man, he's got a great vertical. Uncle Blobb: Alright then, who's next? Bizzmoff: Hiya, kid! Did you have fun at the carnival today? Pumpkin headed kid #8: No! Jason: It stopped! Pumpkin headed kid #8: Razzberry! Uncle Blobb: Woah, woah, woah. What have we here? Uncle Blobb: Might you be looking for your associates? Fidgel: Midgel, Zidgel, stop complaining, you're in danger! Kevin: Say nothing! Uncle Blobb: Ha ha! Yell all you want, fellas. Your meager attempts at rescue are futile! Uncle Blobb: They can't hear you, but on the plus side, you're just in time for the big finale. Uncle Blobb: Allow me to show you to your seats. Kevin: Wheee! Fidgel: Not now, Kevin, we're in peril. Uncle Blobb: Don't be timid, gentlemen, you get the best seats in the house. Uncle Blobb: Huh, where did the boy go? Pity, he'll miss the show. Fidgel: I say, Uncle Blobb, what is the meaning of this? What have you done with our friends? Kevin: And the kids! Uncle Blobb: I am a businessman, but you see, this carnival is only a small part of my enterprise. I make my fortune by depopulating planets! Uncle Blobb: I get everyone to leave. Uncle Blobb: In a short time, this planet, Planet Arrinar, will undergo a mass exodus! Why?! I'm glad you asked. I turn carnival goers into seeds of discontent. Uncle Blobb: All I need is a steady supply of willing participants. Pumpkin headed kid #8: Hey, I'm going too fast! I can't see. Uncle Blobb: I plant my little complaining seeds on a planet, and that discontent grows and spreads, and soon the native population is so miserably gripey that the planet becomes uninhabitable and must be evacuated! Fidgel: Oh, dear. Uncle Blobb: Only of course at the request of my clients, who pay me quite handsomly. It's the perfect scheme! Nobody wants to be around a complainer! After the planet is vacant, the seeds are simply disposed of and a whole new world is available for redevelopment. Kevin: Did you say disposed of? Uncle Blobb: That's what I said. Kevin: Oh. Oh! Uncle Blobb: Observe, it's happening already! President No-I'm-the-President: Ah! Uncle Blobb: That's it! Keep griping, keep griping! Isn't it all just rottony? Uncle Blobb: Let's see, who's next? Bizzmoff: Hiya, kid! Did you have fun at the carnival today? Zidgel: No, sir, I can't say that I have. In fact, I would have to say that my time here was unfun. I came here to have fun, and I don't recall any fun feeling anywhere at-- Fidgel and Kevin: Jason! Zidgel: And frankly, I don't care who I may have offended with my opinion. Uncle Blobb: Oh, there you are! I knew you wouldn't want to miss the fun! I wouldn't even bother if I were you. Those machines are much too strong. Fidgel: Oh, if only we had some device with which to rescue Jason. Kevin: Yeah, like the galeezel. Jason: Woah. Hey. Midgel: This place is the-- Jason: Yeouch! Kevin: Got it! Fidgel: Fire! Fidgel: Oh, dear. Fidgel and Kevin: (scream) Zidgel: And another thing! Jason: Got it. Zidgel: Put me down! Boy oh boy, I had high expectations for this place! Fidgel: Oh, my, Planet Arrinar! It's nearly overcome by the seeds of discontent! Perhaps if I was able to have a look inside those canisters to see what's causing all-- Jason: No, no, Fidgel, set me down! I think I know the answer! Zidgel! Midgel! Pumpkin-headed kids! This is Jason! Listen! You have to stop complaining! You've turned into 'seeds of discontent' - and it's spreading to everyone around you! Start thinking about all the things you have to be thankful for! Then do everything without complaining or arguing, and in this crooked world, you'll shine like stars in the universe! Fidgel: Jason, it's working! Jason: That's it, guys, be thankful! Be thankful for everything! Midgel: I do like the aroma of electrified helium neon gas. Zidgel: Well, I guess being a seed encased in a canister and suspended in space by laser beams isn't so bad. Zidgel: By golly, we had ourselves a fine day! Not so fast, Uncle Blobb! Fidgel, grab him! Uncle Blobb: Huh? Woah, woah, woah, woah, woah! I'll come along peacefully, but first, if you would be so kind, might you allow me to avail myself of the, ahem, facilities? Zidgel: Oh, alright, but make it snappy! Uncle Blobb: Gentlemen, it has been a distinct pleasure, but, I gotta go. Zidgel: Well, when you gotta go, you gotta go. Zidgel: Captain's log, stardate...uh...Kevin? Kevin: Teatime! Zidgel: Stardate teatime. Thank you, Kevin. The seedified pumpkin headed children were soon returned to their original condition. A little wiser, and a lot shinier. And after waiting several hours, I finally determined Uncle Blobb was not coming back from his potty break. Jason and Midgel: (giggle) Zidgel: I saw that! Jason: You know, that's what I like about you guys. Zidgel: Uh, what? Jason: Well, it's-- Zidgel: Our dashing good looks? Jason: No, it's-- Zidgel: Oh! Our scathing rapier wit? Jason: No, it's-- Zidgel: Our snappy sense of fashion? Midgel: No! Now would you kindly let Jason finish? Jason: Well, you, you make a really good team. You're fun to do things with. I mean, maybe I don't get to go to Space Camp for now, but I've got to look on the bright side. I do get to hang out with you guys all summer. Zidgel: I don't think you needed to be quite so harsh with me, Midgel. Midgel: But the lad was talking. You weren't letting him finish. Fidgel: Midgel's right, it's impolite to interrupt. Jason was merely trying to-- Zidgel: Woah, woah, woah, hold it right there! It wasn't interrupting! Kevin: No, but that was. So was that! Zidgel: But, we were! I mean! He, he! Midgel: Careful, it's starting to sound like you're whining. Zidgel: But you guys were ganging up on me! Fidgel: Everyone stop complaining, we don't want to start that again. Midgel: We're not complaining, we're bickering. Fidgel: Being that as it may, I think-- Kevin: It's more like, quarreling. Zidgel: Ooh, interruption! Kevin: Oh, sorry! Fidgel: That's alright, Kevin. Grandmum: Alright, pumpkins, nighty-night! Time to say your prayers! Jason and Michelle: Dear God. Michelle: Thank you for the sunshine and Grandmum's pretty garden. Please help my pumpkin seeds to grow real big. Jason: And thanks for all the fun I can have right here at the cottage, and for helping me learn not to be a seed of discontent. Michelle: Please keep Mom and Dad safe on their trip. Jason: And maybe you could help Grandmum forget about the pickled pumpkin poppers. Michelle: I second that. Jason and Michelle: Amen. Category:Transcripts Category:3-2-1 Penguins! transcripts Category:Finished Transcripts